PERSONAL LEADERSHIP: HOW TO BUILD YOUR SELF-WORTH BY DR SHOGO - ...REAL PEOPLE, REAL EXPERIENCES......
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Tuesday, December 19, 2017

PERSONAL LEADERSHIP: HOW TO BUILD YOUR SELF-WORTH BY DR SHOGO



B. Self-worth: The dictionary defines it as ' the sense of one's own value or worth as a person’

Self-worth is less about measuring yourself based on external actions and more about valuing your inherent worth as a person.

C. Self esteem:

The picture above reminds me of self-image again.

In other words, when we talk about self-worth, it is not about what you do. It is about who you are. You might be a medical doctor, an engineer…. But that’s not who you are. Are you honest? Do you play to the ethics in the industry? Are you accountable? Are you responsible? Are you realistic? Are you just?

Now, People don’t remember what you for what you are. They remember you for who you are. That is why it is said, People might forget what you give to them; will never forget how you make them feel.  Now, who you are is what makes people feel the way they feel.

Do you treat your customers as king or you treat your customers like you’re doing them a favour.  That is who you are. Are you proud? Are you brash? Are you egoistic? Are you saucy? That’s who you are. So, that is why I love the good book, the Bible, it says, “the life of a man does not consist in what he has.”

My question to you now today is: If I remove what you do, which is what you have – your profession, your vocation- who are you?  Are you a loving wife? Are you a cheat?  Are you rude? Are you nice? Are you saucy? Are you Proud?  So, who you are you can’t dodge it, we can’t dodge it. But we can feel the effect.

So, that is why, I’ve seen because I do a lot of coaching and mentoring. I’ve coached people that when we talk in terms of what they have and what they can acquire and the position they have, they still have a very low sense of self-worth.  Because when they grow to a phase in their lives, they’re looking for something of substance to give back to the society. 

Why do you think that all these rich men want to plug into foundations, they want to be a part of something bigger than them. That is who you are. It is your self-worth that determines the strength of the legacy you’ll leave behind.

Self-esteem should not be about measuring yourself against another, but paying attention to your intrinsic value. Self-worth is not based on external factors.

Everyone can bear witness that at one point or the other; you have encountered mechanics, tailors, carpenters…. At times, the kind of jobs you look down on – I’m not talking about people doing it at a higher level- I mean the roadside ones. Their sense of self-worth is so high, because they are fulfilled doing what they are doing. Remove that work out of their lives, which they are, the sense of worth that they have about themselves. It is self-worth that will make a vulcanizer reject N500 given to him by a customer.

HOW TO BUILD YOUR SELF-WORTH:

1. Stop comparing yourself with others: You need to realize that the DNA you carry, you’re the only one that carries it. And nobody on the surface of the earth out of the billions of people have the DNA you carry. So, you need to understand that you are unique and original. If you want to build your self-worth concentrate on yourself. Don’t compare yourself with other people. It is a different calendar God is running on each and every one of us. We are all in different spaces that we can all influence.  So, stop comparing yourself with others. 

A pregnant who woman does not compare herself with another pregnant woman. Simply because they both know that they carry something. If I want to make myself unhappy now: Imagine me comparing myself with Obama. I have not invested the number of years he has invested in his life. I’m not as old as he is. I’m not occupying the type of office he has occupied. Please, how will I have a good self-worth, if I am measuring myself against the influence of Ex-President Obama?

Do you understand? So, you need to watch your internal dialog. At times, we compare ourselves with people we are not supposed to compare ourselves with.So, what happens is, when you compare yourself with someone you’re not supposed to compare yourself with?  Your level of self-worth diminishes.  It is bartered. It is beaten. So, the principle of growth is attention. Anything you pay attention to growths.  

Stop comparing yourself with others. The grass is not greener on the other side. Concentrate on your own grass and your grass will be green. The day you stop comparing yourself with others and start minding your business, you’ll realize that your level of self-worth is increasing.

2. Practice self-compassion: This is the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness and compassion as you would treat a friend

Use the 'COAL' attitude on yourself . Do you wanna know what the C O A L attitude stands for ?

C- Curious, O – Open, A - Accepting and L - Loving

Towards yourself and your experiences rather than being critical on yourselves. At times when I come in contact with critical people, I don't internalize their actions because I realize that they are critical on themselves as well. And I know that a tap that has no water cannot give water.

Let me share 3 steps to practice self-compassion:

You would notice that while explaining three steps to practicing self-compassion, I put suffering in quote. Now that suffering could mean the word SUFFERING literally and could also be a metaphor, like when you’re stressed out.

a.  Acknowledge and notice your ‘suffering’. Do you know there are some Bosses and leaders, they don’t go on break, and they don’t go on vacation? So, if they don’t go on break and vacation for instance, how would they allow their employees and their subordinates go on a Leave or vacation?

They are not going on vacation simply because they are not acknowledging and noticing that they are suffering. That is the reason for a lot of high blood pressure, heart attack at management levels for some of these guys. You see, when you go for break, you have a fresh breath of air, you can think straight and you resume feeling better. You don’t need to have to go to an expensive destination before you get a break from work.

a.  Be kind and caring in response to the ‘suffering’:  give yourself a treat. Go for a break.

b.  Remember that imperfection is part of human experiences: So, you need to be able to OWN your strength and weaknesses. Learn to forgive yourself when you fall. Learn to pat yourself on the back or rob your hand on your head when you make a mistake; it is not the end of the world.

But some people beat themselves up and in so doing; you are damaging your sense of self-worth. Imperfection is part of perfection; perfection itself is not a destination, it’s a journey. Excellence is also a journey.

So, learn to embrace it and when you make mistakes from time to time, resign that there is room for improvement.
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Dear friend, do you want to become a better version of yourself in 2018?  Do you want to belong to a community of supportive people? Then join The Pathfinder Mentoring Program by Dr Shogo, coming up in January 2018. Click here for details.

  

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